1. |
I
00:43
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2. |
The Pact
04:29
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|
bruises and whiplash
like a slow motion car crash
the kind that's not an accident
razor blades and broken glass
a handshake to make a pact
with a smile and a true intent
you practice bleeding so it's second nature
like lines in a play you've rehearsed
you said you want me to be the one to find your body
but i can't if you find mine first
sharing your nicotine
to "paris 1919"
i beg you for one final hit
show me you hate me
perform my worst memories
and for once i was asking for it
i know what i am, don't remind me
i'm a parasite, a snake, and a leech
i'll weep til my voice is a ghost in your throat
to the tune of "on the beach"
hiding in the record store
i nearly broke the boards
of a wooden fence i once leaned upon
"loveless" on the kitchen floor
but we can't do this anymore
and chose not to know it all along
we've gotten so good at pretending
because we're addicts with so much to hide
i've made you resolved to our mutual fate
the only way out is to die
i want you to be the one to find my body
but you can't because i'll find yours first
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3. |
The Bar
02:47
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|
we talk all night about insecurities
and the bar and its proximity
the skulls cracking that put us to sleep
and the things we weren't supposed to overhear or see
but that's the point: it keeps you coming back
it's the same logic in a panic attack
i always seem to land on my back
when i fall from grace and stray from the pack
you haven't been around the block; you built your house on it
and i pity all of these new residents
it just gets so loud when the sun finally sets
and undoes your progress and every attempt
to just get some sleep, and you still wake up late
it's half my fault because i kept you awake
it's hard enough when my body still breaks
every day we undo all the love that we make
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4. |
Three Little Dots
03:46
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your only tattoo is three little dots i gave you
said, "it looks like orion's belt"
exploring better options that still pierce your skin
to see if you liked how it felt
try making some art with all your hate and your pain
when you feel the familiar disturbance
but i think it was more for me than for you
because i compulsively have to be permanent
and my old ghost tattoo i got six years ago says,
"i have stayed so inept at leaving"
i spent half a year hoarding bandages
trying to stop your obsessive bleeding
the thought had barely crossed your mind until we met
and now your wounds are overflowing with salt
don't spell it out
don't say it's my fault
it would take more than ink and needle
to be your architect with crumbling pillars
and i know the lines you made that you said were for me
they don't exactly make me quite your killer
but i still leave you ransom notes on your night stand
saying "you owe me more than you possess"
i have drained you clean, i've transfused your dirty blood
and i've still left such a gruesome mess
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5. |
II
00:57
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6. |
In a Jar
02:51
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bathe myself in tar because i have to
my razors in a jar just like you used to
the feathers in my closet don't help you fly
nor the ones inside my pillow where you'd scream and ask to die
but i still built a pair of wings, tried to fly you towards the sun
because its warmth is so inviting like the smoking of a gun
and i turn the safety on, let you theorize your brain
painting red on orange walls; who was abel, who was cain?
it seems easy in your mind but you have to do it right
be meticulous, determined, you said "let's do it tonight"
and you brought that little jar and placed it right beside my bed
but you didn't have to use it, i let you use your fists instead
the act is getting old like the songs i'm imitating
life inside this jar has always been so suffocating
you got away, you got to pack your things and go
but i still live inside this jar, it's the only way i know
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7. |
LSS
03:52
|
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i shouldn't be trusted with a crime scene
i should stick to what i know
i'll keep the gauze as a souvenir
because i get so scared when you threaten to go
do you know what it's like to hide the knives
and bless each morning i find you alive?
i'll break my legs so you have a place to stand
i'll keep quiet for the sake of your band
i fix you a drink of coffee and peroxide
you say it hurts so that makes me the bad guy
the "what if's" and "thank god i was here"
and you polish it off with a shot and a beer
i shouldn't be trusted with a crime scene
but this is all i've ever known
i cleaned your blood so it's our secret
and you put on a long sleeve shirt and go
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8. |
Evil
04:13
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i think i might be evil
i have no proof i am not
carved a hole in your chest
made a comfortable nest
that's made from basement rot
i have scars from drunken nights
i have tattoos from former friends
i have shirts i can't get rid of
when i so clearly should've
if it didn't burn, did it really end?
i have made myself a wound
the scab you habitually pick
and i know the sensations
it's the same temptation
to let a candle burn to the last of its wick
all the love and need we gently grew
with all this scattered blame
and when my pain strikes at random
i'll still hold you ransom
and you can't say you don't do the same
you said i gutted your life
that you forgot how to be alone
we drown ourselves in hurt
and we suffocate in comfort
that's the double-edged sword of a home
so tell me i'm not evil
i don't think you can
if you could, you wouldn't want to
and i can't really blame you
i would leave me too if i had the chance
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9. |
III/Libertine
05:36
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murder in the first degree
evidence is on your sheets
comfortable in this routine
i am your salò libertine
i'll never set you free
i'll never let you leave
called you from emergency
can't ignore the irony
it's where i told you you should be
i hate you salò libertine
and all you did to me
but it's more than how it seems
half naked for the EKG
nurses take my phone and keys
guess this is my final plea
i love you salò libertine
this is my guarantee
i'm never gonna leave
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